They were Children

When you think about people like Bashar al-Assad, Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, Aleksandr Lukashenko, or Vladimir Putin, you are probably thinking about the suffering and horror such persons have caused for the millions of people. The last thing you would think of, them being children: innocent, seeking love and connection little human beings. Children who with their first breath had not the wish to destroy, kill, and cause pain… But when you see who they have become, you begin to wonder, what had happened to those innocent, love and connection seeking little human beings? What had happened and is happening to thousands of others who we later label as dictators, criminals, serial killers, or sexual predators?

Until the age of five, the brain makes one million new neural connections every second to learn the ways of the body and the environment. At this stage, a human being is like a sponge, literally, absorbing everything faster than a vacuum cleaner. That is why this stage is essential in the development of a human, as it increases the chances for a person to have healthy, optimistic, and prosperous adulthood, if done humanely. Increases, but does not guarantee. Especially if a child experiences or the child’s parents had experienced physical, psychological and/or sexual abuse, family dysfunction, and/or poverty. Such experiences form a distorted perception of the environment as a cruel and harmful place where the only way to survive is through the use and abuse of other people.

A child from a neighbourhood where lawlessness rules the streets, Tony Montana from the movie ‘Scarface’ is a role model, and wealth, respect and beautiful women are in the hands of criminals, is almost destined to follow the path of a ‘gangster’. In the eyes of the child, a ‘gangster’ is somebody, considering that even the child’s parents — who are gods for him/her at that stage — are afraid of such a person. Thus, it is difficult to deny the temptation, even though leading to imprisonment or death, such a lifestyle offers for a person who, from an early age, feels nobody and desires to become somebody. Aleksandro Lukashenka and Vladimir Putin are no exception, they also craved to become somebody, as both were raised in the families of modest means in the era of the Soviet Union, where only a handful were 'more equal than others’.

Consequently, we should not be surprised by the current events in the world, as what can be expected from Lukashenka, who was groomed by the Soviet Army and Communist Party, and Putin, who was raised by the KGB? In an environment where corruption, theft, and propaganda were championed and, hence, have been seen as modus operandi for anyone with an ambition to become somebody, people like Lukashenka and Putin found themselves like fish in the water. It is important to understand that such people conceive compassion, kindness, and love as weaknesses. Backstabbing, fear, and power are the driving forces behind those who exile, kill, or make disappear anyone who challenges their authority and the will to retain the status of somebody.

Yet, such obsession can be found in the people who never experienced ‘bad’ things in their lives at an early age and were raised in comfort and wealth; people like Bashar al-Assad, Kim Jong Un, and Xi Jinping, for example. The obsession of their fathers and grandfathers to be somebody and retain the status of somebody had diseased their children and, as a result, grandchildren in the case of Bashar al-Assad and Kim Jong Un. To retain the status of somebody, they have been taught from an early age to perceive people as objects for their personal use and abuse. A comparison can be drawn with the child of a slave owner who, all his or her childhood, saw slaves being treated worse than animals. In the mind of the child, they are encoded not as people but as objects. Something—not someone—that can be used and abused as the slave owner pleases. With time, such perception of slaves becomes ‘normal’ for the child, a custom to be followed and respected, a custom that Bashar al-Assad, Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, Putin, and Lukashenka are following in Syria, North Korea, China, Russia, and Belarus. For them, the people are objects that have the right to speak and do only what they personally allow. For such people, in the words of Eckhart Tolle, ‘nature, animals, people, even their own employees, are no more than digits on a balance sheet, lifeless objects to be used, then discarded.’ Powerful words to ponder on…

Nonetheless, as easy as it is to blame certain people for their deeds, it is prudent to remember that they have been groomed by society. For such fruits to bloom, certain conditions were required. To blame them equals blaming the society they have flourished in. They are not the result of chance but the consequence of physical, physiological and/or sexual abuse, family dysfunction, and/or poverty. Such is the reality of thousands of children who see or are tough to see dictators or gangsters as role models. Someone who has everything a person can dream of. Everything such children do not have. For them, the world is a cruel and dark place where the only way to survive is to step on the face of the other person to reach the top and become somebody, as in the case of Putin or Lukashenka. Or, speaking about Bashar al-Assad, Kim Jong Un, and Xi Jinping, the obsession of their parents to remain somebody has been passed on to their children, who are taught to perceive people as objects, obeying at their will. All of this should not be seen as a surprise, but as a consequence. The consequence of the imperfectness of society and, at times, the dark side of human nature that turns a blind eye when an action is required. Still, it is imperative not to forget that deep inside, we are all constantly seeking love and connection, and even in the darkest people, there is a chance to find them, waiting to be lit.